April 1, 2009 SAN FRANCISCO: Experience Project Inc, the world’s largest living archive of life experiences, announced today that the company has found international terrorist Osama Bin Laden as a member of its anonymous online community.
Mr. Bin Laden’s identity was spotted through the company’s new location-sharing feature, where members can share the location of where a confession or experience took place. Mr. Bin Laden shared his location as Sar-e-Raqowl, Afghanistan – a cave dwelling in southern Afghanistan inhabited by 6 people and 2 mountain goats.
Mr. Bin Laden, or “SamaBabby” as he is known on the site, shared a confession about his secret love for Mochi Ball kebabs, a dessert previously forbidden by the Taliban. Mr. Bin Laden and his supporters continue to protest Mochi Ball kebabs as a tactic by the “imperialist demonic powers” to brainwash his supporters through the Mochi Ball Kebab’s soft and delicious flavors.
Mr. Bin Laden was an active member of the community, and a member of communities including “I Loved Someone that Didn’t Love Me,” “I Want to Lose Weight,” and “I Live in a Sexless Marriage.”
Immediately following the announcement, the Central Intelligence Agency announced a $200 million investment in Experience Project at an undisclosed valuation. The funds will be used to develop state-of-the-art location technology and algorithms to match the writing style of Experience Project stories to that of international criminals.
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